July 2025

Let’s get back to journaling then. I have been skipping it lately to focus on dealing with some tasks.

Now, where to begin?

July 3

Sometimes I have a feeling that I’m overthinking too much. I cannot help but remember reading a post, which claims that overthinking is a result of ignorance.

Am I still trapped in ignorance – unable to see reality as it is?

When you argue with reality, you lose, but only 100% of the time.

Byron Katie

Our society often hail achievements as something to be proud of. And yet, if I look at things from a spiritual perspective, it seems that it’s just greed in action. Greed blatantly promoted.

To learn to control greed – and ultimately, let it pass, let all emotions come and go… I suppose that’s what I should be heading for. And that, I believe, is part of the core of spirituality.

To forget oneself and gradually become part of a greater whole.

When we don’t see the self as self, what do we have to fear? See the world as your self. Have faith in the way things are.

Just have faith and move slowly, I guess. Don’t panick. Don’t think too much. Don’t be too obsessed with anything.

…

Well then, I have finished the pending part-time tasks for the upcoming six months (most of them – with the exception of a few that cannot be done right now yet). I hope that I can now focus fully on the thing that I have been forsaking for quite long.

Before going to attend my “ritual” this afternoon, let’s try to kickstart it a bit. And then to go to the gym this evening. As tiring as it is, I know I should keep doing it.

To take care of the body, the mind, and the soul – all three simultaneously.

Let’s focus completely without letting myself be distracted. I have no time for games!

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

(04:23 PM GMT+7 – July 3, 2025)

July 4

What do I do? What do I do now?

Sometimes I worry too much. As if there was anything to worry about.

We all do it from time to time, right? We freak out because of many things. But they are all “illusions”, after all.

We become so frustrated – because we are trapped in “ideas”. “It has to be this”, “It has to be that”.

How far from reality is that?

When you practice looking deeply, you see your true nature of no birth, no death; no being, no non-being; no coming, no going; no same, no different. When you see this, you are free from fear. You are free from craving and free from jealousy. No fear is the ultimate joy. When you have the insight of no fear, you are free.

Thich Nhat Hanh

(09:58 AM GMT+7 – July 4, 2025)

July 7

Yesterday, there was a problem with the website. Luckily, I found it out in the early morning, and it was fixed soon (thanks a lot to my developer friend).

What a ‘heart attack’!

Speaking of which, I cannot help but wonder – how could those like the Japanese live peacefully under the constant threat of natural disasters?

Is such a life a curse – or is it truly a blessing? Something that serves to remind one of life’s impermanence – of the importance of always remain vigilant and ready to take action (even if that action means surrendering) at any time.

…

Well, I suppose it’s time to get back on track. Let’s resume my study, and to practice chou and kai a little this afternoon. And then it’s time for my soul ‘ritual’ and body ‘ritual’ (i.e. the gym workout). Then after that, I hope I can spend time rewatching the video last night.

Let’s aim to finish the first half (5) within today, before tackling the next half (4) tomorrow, shall I?

Let’s keep moving!

Tenki ga iikara, hajimemashou!

(08:52 AM GMT+7 – July 7, 2025)

July 8

I met a kind lady yesterday. She seemed to be concerned about my runny nose (haiz, something that has been causing me discomfort for the last few days) and offered me some essential oil. She even went as far as suggesting that I keep her bottle of oil – and that I should go to the hospital soon.

Well, I guess that there are still good-hearted people out there. A lot. Many times we come across them without even knowing about their goodness.

Worse, some of us cling to a false belief that “people are inherently bad” – and refuse to open our hearts as a result. That is, until we grow old and realize that there’s not much time left.

…

Well then, I suppose it’s time to be back on track. A little slower than I expected, but so be it!

Tenki ga iikara, hajimemashou!

(01:02 PM GMT+7 – July 8, 2025)

July 9

Moving slow… but gradually. The idea is just to keep moving without being too worried about what is to come.

Why do I keep finding it hard to concentrate? That I have to frequently take breaks before resuming my work? What is going on?

Is it because of… isolation? Of… stagnation? Of… inertia? Of… what?

How about a litlte music for me to calm down – before getting back to what I have been doing?

(08:47 AM GMT+7 – July 9, 2025)

July 11

I woke up feeling like I am a loser. It got to the point when I almost decided to stay at home… until I realized that “it’s all about now”.

It doesn’t matter what has happened (or is about to happen). It’s what I CHOOSE to do RIGHT NOW that matters!

“Thank you!”, I said to myself.

…

Speaking of which, I remember coming across something this morning. I cannot help bulp recall these words:

Identity is funny. Being yourself is funny as you are never yourself to yourself except as you remember yourself and then of course you do not believe yourself.

Gertrude Stein

Indeed, the incident reminds me of how much Plato’s allegory of the cave rings true today. We are just seeing “shadows on the cave’s wall”. Due to ignorance. Due to busyness (and business, too!). Due to a lack of trust – trust in oneself and in others.

People devise tools and mechanisms to monitor each other – without realizing that they do so because they don’t have faith. Because they themselves are “incompetent” enough to know if there is a problem on their own. So they rely on “tools” and “mechanisms” to check for the presence of other “tools” and “mechanisms”.

How ironic! How laughable!

…

Well then, I suppose it’s time to resume my work. I have no time for games!

Hajimemashou!

(09:12 AM GMT+7 – July 11, 2025)

… as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.

Well, that’s part of the reading today. A part that has intrigued me for quite a while. And another part:

… do not worry about what to say or how to say it. At that time you will be given what to say.

As he discussed this part, the priest today also talked about how people react differently as they approach their own demise. Some shout, swear and thrash around – unable to accept it; while others are calm and embrace it with dignity.

Will I belong to the first or the second group?

To think of death when you are still healthy… is it healthy at all?

I suppose each of us should answer this question on their own.

Btw, speaking of death, I just got back home from the gym. While on my way home, I came across something disturbing. Apparently, there was a fire at a fast food restaurant.

The smell of smoke as I passed through the place… well, let’s hope I will not have to experience it again.

According to a news article just published a few minutes ago, there were no casualties. Well, I strongly hope so.

(09:45 PM GMT+7 – July 11, 2025)

July 16

Still a little dizzy (not sure due to the workout yesterday or what), but I suppose I need to move now.

Let’s focus on only one thing, and let go of all the rest!

(08:45 AM GMT+7 – July 16, 2025)

July 17

Sometimes, it’s not too bad to start the day with something like this.

(09:23 AM GMT+7 – July 17, 2025)

Ok, that’s it for the morning. Time to resume what I have been doing!

(12:37 PM GMT+7 – July 17, 2025)

July 23

I suppose it’s time to get back – enough wandering already! I have done my best to finish what I can. Now it’s time to get back to what really matters!

Recently, it seems that the news is full of disturbing updates. I wonder, what’s next for humanity?

Are all of the problems out there, or are they in here rather?

Should I care too much about it, or should I just keep doing what I can – while staying attuned to what’s going on? (and praying that things will end up moving foward, no matter how unbelievable it is)

…

Sometimes I have a feeling that it’s really challenging to believe what’s on the news these days. A lot of unhidden agendas, a lot of political stuffs, a lot of conspiracy theories, a lot of personal attacks, etc.

Maybe the only way to get rid of this nonsense is to stop arguing – and instead to retreat to a personal sanctuary and reflect?

How much of what we care is truly driven by righteousness? Is it really righteousness – or is it greed and identity (a stubborn one) that have been in the shadows all along?

(02:57 PM GMT+7 – July 23, 2025)

July 25

Only one week left before July ends and August starts – I suppose it’s time to seriously review my progress sofar.

Yesterday was (supposedly) the last day of my office-leasing contract. I can renew it, but I guess it’s time for move to move on, instead of staying at one place for too long (even though I really want to).

So now… it’s between my house and the coffee shop (as well as the gym and… well, my “ritual” place), until I can find my next landing location.

I am supposed to take a test this evening; I have done my best to prepare so far. Hope that I will be able to perform well and receive what’s fitting for me. After that, it’s time for the gym.

Speaking of which, my friend just remarked that I looked seemingly thinner compared to the last time I caught up with him. Not sure if it’s due to the workout or what – but let’s continue! I need a lot of energy to pursue my upcoming path. A LOT!

Money is running out; so I have to proceed as quickly as possible…

Well, let’s see what’s on the plate now:

• My remote part-time job (so far so good; that said, I hope I can finish the pending tasks as soon as possible). It is what sustains me right now, but soon, I will have to let it go (or not – it all depends on how things turn out).
• My next upcoming path (I am gearing up for it; for sure, I will start next week, while continuing my preparation in terms of energy, knowledge, skills, etc.)
• The test this December (I have delayed it too many times; it’s now or never!)
• And this blog – specifically, the Q3 edition (haizzz, if only I could get some help; but shikata ga nai, I suppose)

That’s what I envision for the future. But the future is non-existent. So is the past. It’s only about NOW!

What am I going to do now?

Maybe I should finish reviewing the learning points first; before doing maybe 2 more articles for the part-time project. The blog can wait.

Let’s do I what dislike/ am not comfortable with first, before dealing with what I am comfortable with later.

Tenki ga iikara, hajimemashou!

(12:50 PM GMT+7 – July 25, 2025)

July 28

Not too shabby – what happened last Friday’s evening. And just this morning, I received a good update – that I may be able to move the needle earlier.

Let’s hope for the best then!

It’s strange… staying at the coffee shop instead of at the shared workspace where I had stayed for quite a while. I suppose I can still go back, but it’s probably much better to “push” myself to move by changing the conditions.

Inertia can be both a good and a bad force. It all depends on your starting point, and where you are heading for. And also, on how long you have been staying in a state.

Some people (like me) tend to have strong inertia, which seemingly grants them more endurance and resilience – at the cost of agility. Is such a thing good or bad? I suppose there’s no single answer to it.

It’s not about truth or ideal – but about balance. And I suppose that with empathy, understanding and compassion, it’s much simpler to embrace balance.

…

Well then, I suppose it’s time to “eat the frog” – to confront the elephant in the room!

Tenki ga iikara, hajimemashou!

(01:07 PM GMT+7 – July 28, 2025)

Seriously, to murder a person for only more than 10,000 yen (68 dollars)…

……..

……..

……..

What is the meaning of all of this? Why do these things have to happen?

One person dies, one loses their beloved, one goes to prison, others get terrified and resort to coping mechanisms – many of which are seemingly not healthy or right at all. Some get scared, some get angry, countless people badmouth each other.

But how many would stop to think, reflect – and either pray or do something similar?

…

And one thing I cannot help but notice is that most comments are only concerned about the bad reputation/ impression/ consequences that the incident is gonna create for them – e.g. difficulty applying for visas (worse, many comments are only aimed at attacking those “on the other side”). Very few people say something about the victim and her family.

Why are we so often inclined to think about “me” rather than about “them” – about “everyone” as a whole?

In fact, we do it many times unconsciously – without evening being aware of it. Such a response has become so instinct that… well!

(09:24 PM GMT+7 – July 28, 2025)

July 30

One day (maybe very soon), I will not be able to continue my routine as it is today – flexible, lots of time for introspection. I cannot help but wonder: will I be happy with such a change?

Or, is it just me overthinking? That there is no future or past at all – there is only the present. A gift that one should wholly embrace.

Many times I feel worried, either because I think too much about the future or because I question the past – what I have done so far. At such moments, I become so paralyzed and unable to do anything – until I figure that what’s important is what I am doing RIGHT NOW.

Whatever has happened so far – how terrible or uncertain I feel about myself and the world does not matter. At this moment, what am I doing? That is the real question.

Am I moving closer to my own vision – to what makes me happy and content? Even if that means I am only crawling?

…

With the morning light comes a new hope. Let’s do my best and hope that today will turn out productive. (yesterday was a bit meh, but so be it)

Let’s “eat the frog” right now – tackle the shadow, then chou a little, then finish revising, then do the others.

All right, here I come!

Tenki ga iikara, hajimemashou!

(08:40 AM GMT+7 – July 30, 2025)

How can people live under the constant threat of natural disasters? I wonder…

(11:29 AM GMT+7 – July 30, 2025)

Just come across a very thought-provoking comment in which the author mentions a classic movie quote:

Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they COULD that they didn’t stop to think if they SHOULD.

Dr. Ian Malcolm

How stunningly true!

Very wise words, I have to say. Uttered a long time ago, and yet it applies so well to many things these days. In today’s capitalist world – where people are constantly driven by greed and the desire for “more” and “more”.

(10:10 PM GMT+7 – July 30, 2025)