July 2025

Let’s get back to journaling then. I have been skipping it lately to focus on dealing with some tasks.

Now, where to begin?

July 3

Sometimes I have a feeling that I’m overthinking too much. I cannot help but remember reading a post, which claims that overthinking is a result of ignorance.

Am I still trapped in ignorance – unable to see reality as it is?

When you argue with reality, you lose, but only 100% of the time.

Byron Katie

Our society often hail achievements as something to be proud of. And yet, if I look at things from a spiritual perspective, it seems that it’s just greed in action. Greed blatantly promoted.

To learn to control greed – and ultimately, let it pass, let all emotions come and go… I suppose that’s what I should be heading for. And that, I believe, is part of the core of spirituality.

To forget oneself and gradually become part of a greater whole.

When we don’t see the self as self, what do we have to fear? See the world as your self. Have faith in the way things are.

Just have faith and move slowly, I guess. Don’t panick. Don’t think too much. Don’t be too obsessed with anything.

…

Well then, I have finished the pending part-time tasks for the upcoming six months (most of them – with the exception of a few that cannot be done right now yet). I hope that I can now focus fully on the thing that I have been forsaking for quite long.

Before going to attend my “ritual” this afternoon, let’s try to kickstart it a bit. And then to go to the gym this evening. As tiring as it is, I know I should keep doing it.

To take care of the body, the mind, and the soul – all three simultaneously.

Let’s focus completely without letting myself be distracted. I have no time for games!

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

(04:23 PM GMT+7 – July 3, 2025)

July 4

What do I do? What do I do now?

Sometimes I worry too much. As if there was anything to worry about.

We all do it from time to time, right? We freak out because of many things. But they are all “illusions”, after all.

We become so frustrated – because we are trapped in “ideas”. “It has to be this”, “It has to be that”.

How far from reality is that?

When you practice looking deeply, you see your true nature of no birth, no death; no being, no non-being; no coming, no going; no same, no different. When you see this, you are free from fear. You are free from craving and free from jealousy. No fear is the ultimate joy. When you have the insight of no fear, you are free.

Thich Nhat Hanh

(09:58 AM GMT+7 – July 4, 2025)

July 7

Yesterday, there was a problem with the website. Luckily, I found it out in the early morning, and it was fixed soon (thanks a lot to my developer friend).

What a ‘heart attack’!

Speaking of which, I cannot help but wonder – how could those like the Japanese live peacefully under the constant threat of natural disasters?

Is such a life a curse – or is it truly a blessing? Something that serves to remind one of life’s impermanence – of the importance of always remain vigilant and ready to take action (even if that action means surrendering) at any time.

…

Well, I suppose it’s time to get back on track. Let’s resume my study, and to practice chou and kai a little this afternoon. And then it’s time for my soul ‘ritual’ and body ‘ritual’ (i.e. the gym workout). Then after that, I hope I can spend time rewatching the video last night.

Let’s aim to finish the first half (5) within today, before tackling the next half (4) tomorrow, shall I?

Let’s keep moving!

Tenki ga iikara, hajimemashou!

(08:52 AM GMT+7 – July 7, 2025)

July 8

I met a kind lady yesterday. She seemed to be concerned about my runny nose (haiz, something that has been causing me discomfort for the last few days) and offered me some essential oil. She even went as far as suggesting that I keep her bottle of oil – and that I should go to the hospital soon.

Well, I guess that there are still good-hearted people out there. A lot. Many times we come across them without even knowing about their goodness.

Worse, some of us cling to a false belief that “people are inherently bad” – and refuse to open our hearts as a result. That is, until we grow old and realize that there’s not much time left.

…

Well then, I suppose it’s time to be back on track. A little slower than I expected, but so be it!

Tenki ga iikara, hajimemashou!

(01:02 PM GMT+7 – July 8, 2025)

July 9

Moving slow… but gradually. The idea is just to keep moving without being too worried about what is to come.

Why do I keep finding it hard to concentrate? That I have to frequently take breaks before resuming my work? What is going on?

Is it because of… isolation? Of… stagnation? Of… inertia? Of… what?

How about a litlte music for me to calm down – before getting back to what I have been doing?

(08:47 AM GMT+7 – July 9, 2025)

July 11

I woke up feeling like I am a loser. It got to the point when I almost decided to stay at home… until I realized that “it’s all about now”.

It doesn’t matter what has happened (or is about to happen). It’s what I CHOOSE to do RIGHT NOW that matters!

“Thank you!”, I said to myself.

…

Speaking of which, I remember coming across something this morning. I cannot help bulp recall these words:

Identity is funny. Being yourself is funny as you are never yourself to yourself except as you remember yourself and then of course you do not believe yourself.

Gertrude Stein

Indeed, the incident reminds me of how much Plato’s allegory of the cave rings true today. We are just seeing “shadows on the cave’s wall”. Due to ignorance. Due to busyness (and business, too!). Due to a lack of trust – trust in oneself and in others.

People devise tools and mechanisms to monitor each other – without realizing that they do so because they don’t have faith. Because they themselves are “incompetent” enough to know if there is a problem on their own. So they rely on “tools” and “mechanisms” to check for the presence of other “tools” and “mechanisms”.

How ironic! How laughable!

…

Well then, I suppose it’s time to resume my work. I have no time for games!

Hajimemashou!

(09:12 AM GMT+7 – July 11, 2025)

… as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.

Well, that’s part of the reading today. A part that has intrigued me for quite a while. And another part:

… do not worry about what to say or how to say it. At that time you will be given what to say.

As he discussed this part, the priest today also talked about how people react differently as they approach their own demise. Some shout, swear and thrash around – unable to accept it; while others are calm and embrace it with dignity.

Will I belong to the first or the second group?

To think of death when you are still healthy… is it healthy at all?

I suppose each of us should answer this question on their own.

Btw, speaking of death, I just got back home from the gym. While on my way home, I came across something disturbing. Apparently, there was a fire at a fast food restaurant.

The smell of smoke as I passed through the place… well, let’s hope I will not have to experience it again.

According to a news article just published a few minutes ago, there were no casualties. Well, I strongly hope so.

(09:45 PM GMT+7 – July 11, 2025)

July 16

Still a little dizzy (not sure due to the workout yesterday or what), but I suppose I need to move now.

Let’s focus on only one thing, and let go of all the rest!

(08:45 AM GMT+7 – July 16, 2025)

July 17

Sometimes, it’s not too bad to start the day with something like this.

(09:23 AM GMT+7 – July 17, 2025)

Ok, that’s it for the morning. Time to resume what I have been doing!

(12:37 PM GMT+7 – July 17, 2025)

July 23

I suppose it’s time to get back – enough wandering already! I have done my best to finish what I can. Now it’s time to get back to what really matters!

Recently, it seems that the news is full of disturbing updates. I wonder, what’s next for humanity?

Are all of the problems out there, or are they in here rather?

Should I care too much about it, or should I just keep doing what I can – while staying attuned to what’s going on? (and praying that things will end up moving foward, no matter how unbelievable it is)

…

Sometimes I have a feeling that it’s really challenging to believe what’s on the news these days. A lot of unhidden agendas, a lot of political stuffs, a lot of conspiracy theories, a lot of personal attacks, etc.

Maybe the only way to get rid of this nonsense is to stop arguing – and instead to retreat to a personal sanctuary and reflect?

How much of what we care is truly driven by righteousness? Is it really righteousness – or is it greed and identity (a stubborn one) that have been in the shadows all along?

(02:57 PM GMT+7 – July 23, 2025)